Monthly Archives: August 2010

Ramadan in non-Muslim countries

You go to work where no one is fasting except you. You feel lonely when everyone go to their lunch break.

No one to exchange Ramadan stories with and no one to learn something new from about your religion.

At sunset when you need to break your fast you may be stuck in a meeting or in a class, or at your job.

One day, you may break your fasting alone at home.

And you may also break your fasting alone at home again and again.

You know when to break your fast by looking at the clock unless you use an electronic device (computer or phone) that calls the Athan.

You go to a mosque that  has a clean carpet but lack spirituality.

You stuck praying at one mosque whether you like it or not because there are no other mosques to go to.

The community decides that instead of bringing an Imam from Egypt to lead the Taraweeh, as they used to do every year, a young Hafith with broken Arabic from the community should lead the prayers.

You stand behind an Imam who recites Quran in a very broken Arabic you can’t even pass the first Raka’ of Taraweeh without drifting in your mind to something very materialistic just to distract yourself from this awful recitation.

The community also decide that after the four Raka’s of Taraweeh a young man should give a small talk. Talk about learning nothing about Islam in the six years I spent in this city, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Many times, when you decide that you need to pray all Taraweeh they postpone the prayers because a group of Muslims came from a different city collecting donations to build a mosque in their city. You feel extremely annoyed and leave.

You finish Taraweeh on Saturday at 11:30 pm feeling very spiritual to see drunk college kids roaming aimlessly the streets.

Bottom line if you want to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas you should live in the US!

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Finding serenity in binge drinking?

Yesterday at around 11:30 pm, after Taraweeh prayer, a miracle happened to a dear friend of mine. He and his 15 year old son both survived death. While driving home with his son a drunk driver hit their car from behind and ran away. The back of the car is pushed to the middle. The crash was so powerful his car was totaled. My friend told me that after the shock he thought he was died; he was unaware of what happened for couple of seconds. Alhamdulilah, both my friend and his son were safe but both were in shock. I had to go with my friend to the ER because he had a painful neck injury. Since this hospital is a university hospital the ER was packed with young drunk college kids. Some of those kids were in the ER because they either were fighting and injured themselves, or not feeling well after drinking, or were in car accidents.

Luckily, the young man who hit my friend was caught driving away within minutes. His car’s air bags were activated and so he could not drive any further. This stupid guy is going to jail and is going to suffer the consequences because he was driving while under influence, he flee an accident he caused, and if he is under 21 then he is considered an underage drinker which is illegal. This kid and those who are alike get drunk on the weekends so on Monday he can brag in front of his friends that he was “wasted.” Among American college kids it is cool to be “wasted.” What he didn’t expect is that instead of being wasted for one night he wasted his future as well. Good for him.

Being among college kids for 8 years I got used to hearing terms such as “Let’s go get drunk” or  “I want to get wasted this weekend.” Those kids believe that fun is associated with drinking only. No drinking means no fun.

At the beginning of each semester many college kids celebrate the starting of school by drinking. Since I live on campus I have to see what happens in the weekends or after these parties. I saw girls walking aimlessly barefoot, throwing up in the middle of the streets, and the worst I saw was young women squatting on the road side, on public, releasing themselves. Speaking about self respect. All for the sake of been accepted in the college community by binge drinking which is “drinking alcoholic beverages with the primary intention of becoming intoxicated by heavy consumption of alcohol over a short period of time.”

Here are very few facts about binge drinking among college students (some bullets from my university website):

  • About 90% of the alcohol consumed by youth under the age of 21 in the United States is in the form of binge drinks [source].
  • Rape and sexual assault is even more common on college campuses than in the rest of the U.S. population. This is due in part to the use of alcohol by perpetrators as a predatory drug.
  • 1 in 4 women are sexual assaulted during their college years.
  • 91% of adult female rape victims reported that they knew the man who raped them.
  • Alcohol and other drugs are involved in 55-74% of sexual assaults on campuses.

Couple of year ago I and some friends were on the highway driving two cars. I and my friends in the car noticed that there was a car following our friends’ car. We called them and they confirmed that a woman is driving behind them very fast and she doesn’t want to change lane. They could not slow down because she will hit them and whenever they change lane she followed them. From her driving maneuvering we found she was drunk. It was night and on the highway were you the speed limit was 70 mph (100+ km). It was very scary and dangerous situation. We asked them to drive very fast and change lane quickly so we can block her and we did. Alhamdulilah, everyone went alright but it was very scary experience. Imagine driving at 70 mph near someone who has no control or power to even stand up straight.

I know my university does all kind of surveys to find the number of students drinking alcohol and how often or how much they drink. But I don’t see any progress. Binge drinking is still one life style among college students. Every culture has it is embarrassing behaviors or customs but this behavior is not only degrading to young men and women it is deadly.

America’s financial crises

In 1989, one year after I moved with my family to Jordan, the Jordanian Dinar drifted down and lost 50% of its value (no Wikipedia source!).

In 1997, the Asian financial crises caused the value of the Malaysian Ringgit to drop 40%. This happened after 6 months or so upon my arrival to Malaysia to continue my graduate study.

In 2007, an economic recession hits the US. This time the financial crises took five years to happen after my arrival to the US.

Three financial crises happened in three countries within three different decades. All these financial crises have one thing in common; I. I don’t think I have anything to do with these countries’ economic meltdown. But for some unknown reason I have to experience these countries’ financial crises.

Regardless of any conspiracy theory, that links my existent with any nation’s financial crises, the worst for me is the US recession since I am working part-time as a teaching assistant to support myself and pay the tuition fee.

Since December 2007 I have heard and read thousands of stories about how this recession affected many people in the US.

A Biologist working as a researcher in my university was laid off after 16 years of service. A Pharmacy technician in my university hospital was laid off after 14 years. Both in their late 40s or early 50s, they have kids studying in universities and both are without job for more than a year now. A Civil Engineer with a masters degree decided to go to grad school for a MBA degree after losing hope of finding a job after almost two years. These people are Arab immigrants who I know personally. Of course the stories of unemployed people who I don’t know are in millions.

Until 2007 the two most wanted people were Nurses and Pharmacists.  Now, even these two are no longer needed not because there are enough of them but because hospitals and health institutes can’t afford to hire more people.

My uncle, who owns a business in Houston, told me he never experienced such a bad economy in 20 years. That is, since he came to this country.

Usually, Americans don’t pursue a masters or PhD degree in engineering. But now since the economy is very bad they started to enroll in Grad Schools.

A friend of mine, who is a third year PhD student, left the country because he could not find on campus job to pay for the tuition fee.

I live in the university’s Apartments. These apartments are dedicated to graduate students. For the past five years I rarely have seen any American living in these apartments. This semester I already know four Americans moving here and I can see more of them coming. This influx is due to the fact that there more are more American graduate students now and that these apartment are cheaper, although not better, than the off campus ones.

The course I help teaching every semester has usually 400 students. Since it is a computer programming subject it requires using computer labs and it needs at least seven TAs. In 2005, the TAs were from Jordan, Syria, Yemen, Egypt, China, and two Americans. This semester, the TAs are from Jordan, Bahamas and five Americans.

A fresh graduate Engineer’s salary used to start from $45,000 a year. This salary goes up to 60K and 70K with experience an amount that lures any one away from grad schools. But now since this dream salary is no longer reachable many decided to go back to school by enrolling in grad schools.

This semester the department assigned me half the task I used to do which means I will get half the salary. This policy came because of the increasing number of graduate students so they decided to give part-time jobs for more students. In addition, universities are trying to tighten the belt as much as they could because of the funds cut. Since the full salary I used to get was barely enough I had to look for on campus job and believe me it wasn’t easy to find one. I was competing with 30,000 other students who many of them have at least unemployed parent. I was told by a lab director on campus that he received 100 job applicants for one position. The job was lab assistant and it requires a graduate student. Luckily, I found a job at the campus dinning services. My job title is customer service attendant. Although the job title sounds fancy but in reality it means washing dishes, mopping floor, serving food, etc. It is not as good as teaching but at this time of economic difficulty I have to say Alhamdulilah always.

So now I provide food for thought to my students, as well as the stomach.

الحكم على الشعوب من خلال الشاشة الفضية

أفضل شيء عمله التلفزيون الأردني انه إعتكف عن انتاج المسلسلات الدراميه كتلك اللتي كان يعملها في الثمانينات لمّا كان العم متسلط ويسرق أرض أرملة أخوه. وأبنه ــ الهامل ــ  اللي كان بده بنت عمه المتعلمه ــ عبير عيسى في أغلب الأحيان ــ  واللي بتدرس في المدينه. بس هي طبعا ما كانت تحبه… واللي كان واعي في فترة الثمانينات بتذكر انه معظم المسلسلات الأردنيه كانت تدور حول هذا الموضوع.ـ

في المقابل كان التلفزيون الأردني من أفضل البلدان العربية في الأعمال البدويه والتي كانت منتشره على مستوى العالم العربي.ـ

أقول أفضل ان الأردن اعتكف عن أعمال الدراما لأني لا أريد ان ينظر الينا العالم العربي كما ينظر حاليا للخليجيين والسوريين والمصريين من خلال مسلسلاتهم. سوف أترك الحديث عن الأعمال الخليجيه والمصريه لأني لست خليجي ولا مصري ولكني سوف أتحدث عن المسلسلات السورية بما أني نصف سوري (من جهة الأم).ـ

أنا لست من متابعين المسلسلات العربية بعمومها حتى عندما كنت في الأردن. ولكن رمضان في الغربه يشعر المغترب به بالحنين عن دون الايام. في اليومين الماضيين وبقضل الانترنت شاهدت بعض الحلقات من مسلسلات مصرية وسورية. شاهدت حلقتين كاملتين من مسلسل باب الحاره 5  ( مع العلم أني لم أشاهد أي من الأجزاء السابقه سوى ربما حلقتين او ثلاثه). كذلك شاهدت ربع ساعه من مسلسل سوري أخر على نفس السياق ولكني لا أعرف اسم المسلسل.ـ

العربي الذي يشاهد هذين المسلسلين وخصوصا ان احدهما قد نجح ان يستمر لعامه الخامس قد يحكم على الشعب السوري حكما مخالفا تماما عن البلد الذي انتج نزارقباني والعقاد وعمر ابو ريشه عدى عن شعراء وحكماء دمشق القديمة مدينة الياسمين.ـ

من يشاهد هذه النوعية من المسلسلات يحكم على المرأة السورية أنها غبية ذات صوت عالي تكيد للقريب والبعيد في سبيل ارضاء زوجها. المرأة السورية لاتفهم أي شيء في دنياها سوى كيفية الوصول الى قلب زوجها. والكثير من الأمور التي تظهر الرجل والمرأة بشكل سوقي بعيد عن أي ثقافة.ـ

قد تسرد المسلسلات قصة غير واقعية ولكن مسلسل باب الحاره يسرد ثقافة الشعب السوري في حقبة معينه من خلال رؤيا كاتب ومخرج ومنتج لا يتعدى حدود فهمهم طفل في التاسعة من العمر. لو استمر هذا العمل لرمضان واحد فقط فلا مشكله فهناك الكثير من المسلسلات الغبيه ولكن أن يستمر لخمس سنوات في تشويه هوية شعب فهذا أمر مخزي.ـ

قرأت في احدى المدونات الكويتية عن عدم رضى الكويتيين عن برنامج حليمه بولند (لم أشاهده)  واسلوبها المتصنع الخارج عن ثقافة أهل الخليج. أرجو أن تجتهد الشعوب العربية جميعها برفض هذه المسلسلات التي تمثلها على انها امرأة غبية، او ساقطة أو رجل متسلط مزواج. ليس عندي مشكله في هذه المسلسلات فلكل منا ذوقه ولكن مشكلتي ان تستمر هذه المسلسلات بسرد  نفس القصه سنة بعد اخرى.ـ

أقول انها مشكله لأن أطفالنا يشاهدون هذه المسلسلات والتي بالطبع سوف تؤثر على عقولهم ورؤيتهم لأنفسهم وللآخر. أرجو أن نشاهد دراما عربية ــ ذكيه ــ مغايرة لما تعودنا أن نشاهده منذ عشرات السنين.ـ

Stereotype or Etiquette Guidelines?

Britain’s national tourism agency issued guidelines Wednesday on the etiquette of dealing with the hundreds of thousands of foreign visitors who will be coming to London for the 2012 Summer Olympics [NPR].

Although, these guidelines are meant to show the country’s hospitality they may offend some tourists for being stereotyped. Instead of making a gazillion long cultural understanding etiquette guidelines why don’t we just take it easy. As an Arab I don’t feel offended if a non-Arab shows me the sole of his shoe because I know he didn’t do it on purpose to offend me. Every culture is abide by certain do and don’t rules there is no way to know every culture’s rules.

As someone from the Middle East I found the guide lines (below) regarding the Middle East to be very true. I am not sure about the one regarding UAE though since I haven’t been there before. Indeed, Arabs don’t like to be told what not to do and they like to break rules to show some masculinity. One of my friend’s explanation to this strange Arab behavior is that because of the many years of British and French colonization and forcing laws they started to break these rules to show some kind of rebellion to the colonization.

Every culture should know that it has some weird behaviors that other cultures find it funny and meaningless. I know some people are easily offended but it should be their problem. The humankind never before lived in a so rich colorful international space like today. We should look into this vibrant new life positively and value it.

By the way, according to the agency behind these guideline tips they were written by the agency staff about their own native countries:

Middle East:

  • – Never be bossy with visitors from the Middle East.
  • – Travelers from the Middle East are likely to be demanding with staff and are not used to being told what they can’t do.
  • – Tourism workers are advised to show extra patience when dealing with guests from the United Arab Emirates.

India:

  • – Hold off from hugging an Indian.
  • – Tourism workers are advised to show extra patience when dealing with guests from India.
  • – Indians are in general, an impatient lot, and like to be quickly attended to.
  • – The more affluent they are, the more demanding and brusque they tend to be.
  • – Indians also don’t like being touched by strangers and may be suspicious about the quality of British food without noting the latter might be a common concern.

France:

  • – Don’t be alarmed if the French are rude.
  • – French are notoriously picky in restaurants.

Canada:

  • – Canadian tourists are likely to be quite annoyed about being mistaken for Americans.

Brazil:

  • – Don’t go around asking Brazilians personal questions.

Poland:

  • – Polish tourists are likely to be hurt by stereotypes that imply they drink excessively.

Argentine:

  • – U.K. workers are told to brush off common Argentine jokes about a person’s clothing or weight.

Belgium:

  • – Belgians take offense at people snapping their fingers.

Australia:

  • – Are fond of coarse language.

Japan:

  • – Consider prolonged eye contact impolite and smile to express a range of emotions – not simply to show happiness.

China and Hong Kong:

  • – May find winking or pointing with an index finger rude, while "mentioning failure, poverty or death risks offense," the advice claims.
  • – Chinese visitors may be unimpressed by landmarks just a few hundred years old, tourism staff are told.

Mexico:

  • – Workers are advised against discussing poverty, immigration, earthquakes or the Mexican-American war with visitors from Mexico – who prefer to chat about history and art.

USA:

  • – They can appear informal to the point of being very direct or even rude and won’t ever hesitate about complaining.

أحاديث رمضانيه

للأسف يتم تداول كثير من الأحاديث الضعيفة بين الناس دون التحقق من صحتها. هذه بعض الأحاديث الضعيفه والتي تنتشر في رمضان بشكل خاص:ـ

أحاديث ضعيفة

ـــ صوموا  تصحوا

ـــ نوم الصائم عبادة
ـــ أوله رحمة وأوسطه مغفرة وآخره عتق من النار
ـــ اللهم لك صمت وعلى رزقك أفطرت
يمكنك قراءة المزيد من أحاديث رمضان الضعيفه هنا

    المصدر: صيد الفوائد

    أحاديث صحيحة
    ـــ أما ما يصح أن يقال عند الافطار: كان رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول إذا أفطر ذهب الظمأ وابتلت العروق وثبت الأجر إن شاء الله (الدرر السنية).ـ
    ـــ وهذا حديث صحيح آخر عسى أن نعمل به لزيادة الأجر ان شاء الله. من فطر صائما كان له مثل أجره، غير أنه لا ينقص من أجر الصائم شيئا.ـ

    الراوي: زيد بن خالد الجهني المحدث: الألباني – المصدر: صحيح الجامع – الصفحة أو الرقم: 6415
    خلاصة الدرجة: صحيح. (الدرر السنية).ـ

    The fall of Cordoba house

    The debate of whether to approve building the Cordoba House (a.k.a. ground zero mosque) or not is not a new news now but it seems it is making lot of buzz lately. Especially, that some politicians, like Sara Palin,  get involved, when she tweeted against building the mosque, merely for the sake of attracting more supporters. She is after all the expected new president after the disastrous performance of Mr. Obama, according to the media.

    Ground zero is the place where the September 11 terrorist attack took place. Some Americans believe building a Mosque near that place means a victory of Islam over Christian America. As of Sunday, August 8th, 2010 at 5:15 pm there are more than 30 million search result for “Ground Zero Mosque”. It is that big of an issue here.

    image

    It is very sad that some Americans think of the minaret as a symbol of hatred and define Islam as a violent religion. Unfortunately, the way American’s media, lead by FoxNews, approach their viewers about Islam is the same way banks, credit card and insurance companies approach their customer. Those companies have one thing in common; never let your customer understand your fine print policy. And that is exactly what the American media does when it comes to Islam; confusion lead by many misleading stories.

    To be fair not all Americans oppose building this mosque. Actually, the city council approved building the mosque. And some Americans don’t feel offended building this mosque near ground zero. The over 30 million search result about the ground zero mosque proves that there is a huge debate not between Muslims and non-Muslims but among Americans in general.

    This mosque is a 100 million dollar project called Cordoba house. The main goal of this project is not to be a place of worship rather it is intended to build bridges between Muslim Americans and their non-Muslim fellow citizens. As a Muslim I am against this project because it is not merely a mosque rather an Islamic Center that might be looked at as a monument of some sort.  The interpretation of what this monument represent (for both Muslims and non-Muslims) might be vague.

    Living in the US for 8 years I found that Muslim Americans spend lots of money, time and energy trying to improve their image as Muslims. Unfortunately, this made many young Muslims generation loose confidence on who they are. How self-assured kids or teenagers can be when they grow up in a community feeling that they always have to say sorry for September 11 and that they always need to assure non-Muslims their loyalty to the country they call home.

    Muslim Americans are in no need for building more mosques. What they really need is to build more Islamic schools. They need to build self-confident Muslims. Muslims here spend millions of dollars building mosques but when it comes to Islamic schools they fail to donate enough money. Maybe because they think a good looking mosque is a good image for Islam but a school might be looked at as a Madrasa, which according to many Americans a Madrasa means a Taliban school that only teaches Quran and making bombs.  

    Many of you may say Islamic schools are not important, kids can be taught about Islam in their home. Unfortunately, this rarely happens. Islam is not something minor in our life. Islam is a way of life. To be a Muslim you need to learn about it every day and live by it every hour. 

    Finally, I don’t believe building an Islamic Community Center near ground zero serves any purpose other than enraging some people. Muslims not just in America but everywhere need to concentrate more on building true Muslim character not Minarets.

    International humanitarian act at a traffic light

    Today, at 12 pm in a 100+ F (40 C) while I was stopping at a red light my Honda made her mind not to move any more. It was lunch hour and the intersection was very busy. I was in the middle lane so tens of cars passed to my right and left. Nevertheless, not a single horn was heard.

    I want to share with you some details of what happened today:

    1. I, a Jordanian, had a problem with my car at the traffic light.
    2. After couple of minutes of being in the middle of the street an American woman stopped her car beside mine and asked if I needed help. I thanked her and told her that I already called for help (i.e., friend #4).
    3. After 10 minutes or may be less an American man stopped his van behind my car and told me that he will help me push the car to the nearest safe place. We waited till the light was green then pushed the car to the other side where there is a parking lot. It seems he was a farmer because when he offered to help he said “That is why I hate living in the city. No one will stop for help here.” But he did and I am very grateful. He is my American hero.
    4. An Egyptian friend came to give me a ride back home.
    5. A Tunisian came to take my car’s key since he knows someone who can tow my car for free.
    6. An Algerian mechanic is going to fix my car. It is really a great thing if you know a mechanic who you can trust and fix your car for a cheaper price.

    People, in general, are so nice if only we can communicate better. One of my most lovable verses from the Quran is the one when Allah says “…and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other.” [Al-Hujurat, verse 13]. How we treat others should be a priority which is, unfortunately, not.  Only by knowing people we can understand why they do what they do.

    On achievement, destiny and being happy

    Up to age 21 our lives are all the same, if for any reason it is because they were planned very well by our parents, society and the government. We all go to the elementary school at the same age, then middle school then high school and by age 17 or 18 we start college years. And in four or five years we graduate from college. Generally speaking, regardless of how hard you worked through these years you still go to college. But then depending on your high school performance you may not be able to enroll in certain majors or study at the best universities. By age 21 we all get a Bachelor’s degree in some kind of a profession.

    After earning the baccalaureate our lives start taking different directions. They no longer produce the same result according to our performance.  Each of us has his own path. Some of us find work but others don’t. Some of us travel for a better life but others don’t. Some of us marry but others don’t. And some of us continue their study but others don’t.

    The more we grow older the more our lives become different, difficult to make sense of and find answer to. It doesn’t matter how much time and effort you put in a relationship, study, business venture there is always a possibility of failure. Some people finish their PhD in 3 years others in 10 years. People judge this huge difference by saying one is smarter than the other. Although this is the case in general but it is not always the reason why some people spend more years in Grad School than others. There is always a different reason for a different story. I call this reason the unknown factor.

    The unknown factor plays a great role in our life. People from different backgrounds interpret the unknown factor differently. It could be God, wind, sun, luck, envy, etc. This factor is mysterious because it may alter the path of a person and makes prediction about someone’s future almost impossible. I know a girl who would fit as the dream wife. She is educated, very beautiful, came from rich and good family, and she has all the good characters you would wish to have in your wife. Yet, she is in her mid thirties and never married. I know a couple who all the pediatricians they saw told them there is no problem with any of them. Yet, after 8 years of marriage they still have no kids. I know an Arab man who has been in the US for 27 years, never been home and he is still struggling with his legal residency documents. Everyone reading this will try to find a reason behind each of these uncommon stories. We were taught that there is a reason if something doesn’t end up as we expected. Since after age 21 our lives are not the same, our achievements are not the same as well due to the unknown factor.

    Unless you are in the same shoe of the person you are trying to figure out why he does what he does, it is very difficult to decipher his life. If your life’s path is different than others, people will always provide you with a solution. For example, if you reached a certain age and you are not married, then you are different and entitled for help. The problem is whatever reason you provide for not being married they always have an answer for your reason. They don’t believe in the unknown factor.  Whatever solution people will give you to your problem is usually centered on “you are not trying your best.” This solution fits every problem in life whether it is not finding a job, or not getting married, or not finishing your study. People are actually saying “others succeeded in what you are trying to achieve  why you didn’t? How hard it is to achieve what millions others achieved”

    One of the biggest mistakes we do in our life is that we associate happiness with something we need to have or achieve. This is a very critical mistake because it may cause depression and in some cases suicidal thoughts or even committing suicide if what we are waiting for doesn’t happen. Unfortunately, we created a world of our own were every one of us is waiting something to happen. This anticipation of something to happen to be happy is the biggest mistake we were taught. For that reason never associate your happiness with the occurrence of something you have no control over. Because reality taught us that dreams may be shattered and projects may fail. You never know when the unknown factor will hit you. Besides, if you don’t get what you anticipated does this mean you should spend the rest of your life unhappy?

    Achieving things may make us happier but for sure it will not make us happy all the time. No one is happy all the time unless he or she is brainless. There will always be ups and downs. Therefore, we should learn to be happy sometimes.

    Why men invented games?

    Unlike women, men don’t explicitly talk about their problems. They are wired not toimage expose their mishaps. Men believe they can fix things and hence they should not have unsolved problems. When men experience a problem they don’t like to talk about it, especially to their male friends. Instead, men play games. These games could be physical like football, video games or even card games. Even at age 60 or 70 you see men play backgammon for hours very competitively.

    Since the invention of the first game there is no record and there will be none of men talking about their real life problems over a football, golf or a card game. During the game there is only one single thing on the brain of every player; wining the game. 

    imageIn general, for men playing any kind of game is not just a matter of having a good time with friends it could be very competitive and sometimes could get very ugly. They shout loudly, push opponents, and they could get physical if they feel losing. I have seen friends quarrel over a foul in a football game and friends not talking to each other for days or even weeks because of a minor incident that took place during the game. 

    Men like to play because it gives them a chance, unlike real life, to be in control of the environment or at least to knowing what happens in the environment. After all, they are fixer so imagethey should know the environment very well. Men like the taste of winning, whether it is winning a football match, or a backgammon game, or competing against time in a video game.

    Since men don’t like losing they came up with a creative idea to make these games adaptable to their way of thinking. They invented rules and words such as replay and rematch. If a man looses a game there is always another chance to replay for the hope of winning and cleansing the shame of lost.

    Playing a game is when a man feels he owns the moment. If for any reason it is because there is a chance he may WIN, without any real life consequences if he loses. It is these few moments of excitement and happiness when winning a game that keep men going and eagerly anticipating playing a new game. There is no problem in a man-made-game that he can’t overcome. Even if he could not tackle the problem the first or second or even the third  time he knows he can always replay until he wins.

    Dear woman, when your husband go out to play golf, card, backgammon, football or even when you see him at home playing video games let him be. You express your emotions by talking we don’t, we play. Playing a game is when we express our emotions.

    Dear fellow men, may you win all your games!