In his book “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom”, Don Miguel Ruiz describes our learning behavior when we were kids :
When we went against the rules we were punished; when we went along with the rules we got a reward… We soon develop a need to hook other people’s attention in order to get the reward… We try to please Mom and Dad, we try to please the teachers at school, and so we start acting… Eventually we become someone that we are not.
Then, he explains the effect of what we learned in our adulthood.
To be alive is the biggest fear humans have. Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive – the risk to be alive and express what we really are. Just being ourself is the biggest fear of humans. We have learned to live our life trying to satisfy other people’s demands. We have learned to live by other people’s points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else.
In the next post, I will talk about these four agreements that suppose to guide us to personal freedom…